Monday, February 25, 2008

Body Scents

I love to go to Bath and Body. Not often. Just enough to check out what is new and sometimes, to buy what is not. I will buy pumpkin scented lotion in February and tropical mango candles in October. I will dutifully keep my coupons for a free drop of lotion if I buy $65 worth of aromatherapy candles. 

I got the usual cheerful greeting from a woman, holding a basket, looking for all the world like a blossom. Radiant, happy, full of potential probably because she smelled so good and lived in a world of tangerine invigorating wrinkle reducing skin serum. She smiled at me in sort of a pained way. The way a blossom might smile at a Christmas tree in March. Then she asked me this question: "Do you have a personal scent?"

There were oh so many places I could go with this one. I immediately thought of the conversation my husband and I had had just recently when we were getting ready for bed. We both needed to jump in the shower and Joel remarked, "Whoa. One of us smells like chicken." 
"I hope it's you," was my reply. 

As I sorted through what I could possibly answer Bath and Body's Hopeful Blossom, I noticed my boys were getting right to the task of generating their own personal scent. The best description I have would be Coconut Bubble Gum Cinnabon Sparkle. They view tester bottles sort of like the dessert line at Old Country Buffet; the more the better.

I was finally able to say that no, I did not have an intentional personal scent but was just looking around. I shopped in the Reject Smell section of the store, and as I did, I pondered what scent I might choose for myself, if such a thing were even possible. 

Thus, I landed on the idea of bleach. Bleach says, "I'm clean and practical." Bleach says, "I'm a responsible adult." Bleach says, "If I've invited you over for a meal, you can feel free to use the wooden cutting boards and the kitchen sponge." 

I didn't ask if they carried my newly invented personal scent in a lotion. I bought a $3.00, 8 ounce bottle of Vanilla Bean Holiday soap and wondered if I had time to stop at Target for a $.97, 2 gallon bottle of bleach. It comes in lavender now too.


Peter said...

I remember back to your first blog when you stated that "clean was over-rated". I think having bleach as your personal scent is sending mixed messages. My theory is that we should allow the people that have to smell us most to pick our personal scent. Knowing Jen, mine would probably be butter....unsalted. I contribute enough of that.

Jenny said...

My scent would have to be vanilla latte. Not very original, I know, but it IS what I smell like most of the time.

keitha said...

Hey Marty. I met you at BBC when I was visiting with my husband. Jenna referred me to your blog. Thanks again for taking the time to talk with us that evening. Your kindness and interest made a great impact on our visit.

Love your blog!


Emma said...

What's wrong with smelling like chicken? Personally, when I smell bleach, I think of my numerous shirts that have huge white spots on them, dirty sponges, and cleaning the downstairs toilet. Plue, if you and Dad couldn't figure out what either of you had done to smell like chicken, it means that getting to smell like chicken is effortless for you! Just kidding.
You can borrow some of my Winter Candy Apple lotion.

Leah said...

Marty, I can imagine driving down the road and hearing you read one of your essays on NPR. The new Bailey White, causing us to nearly drive off the road from laughing too hard.

Krysty said...

Oh my, I can experience the life and times of the Button family on the web! This is mom told me about your blog and you'll be happy to know that I googled you to find it and there I found a pic of Joel standing 1/2 buck after a run. Thanks Google! :-) I am going to enjoy these...keep writing've always had great humor and we all need a great laugh!
Love, Krysty